Dear Friends,

   Our thanks go this month to Heart Start Stoke-on-Trent for coming along to our meeting in July and giving a demonstration to our group on how to give emergency life support, which was well presented and received by all that attended the evening. I was also very pleased to be able to present a certificate of appreciation to Mr. Clifford & Mrs. Margaret Lockwood who kindly donated £200 to our group from gifts received from their family & friends to celebrate Clifford’s 80th birthday on the 14th of June 2010. At our next social event on Tuesday 31st August, 8pm, our guest speakers will be Mr Alan & Mrs Christine Lovatt, They have kindly offered to demonstrate their specialist subject ‘Pictures. to Music’, it should be a very interesting night which will be held at the Thistleberry Hotel, Thistleberry Avenue, Newcastle, Staffs. We look forward to seeing you on the night, every one is welcome.

Area Group Raffle

   We held our area group raffle on the 27th of July and the prize winners were 1st Mrs. D. Hall £100, 2nd Mr. A. Lilley £50, 3rd Mr. D. Proctor £25, 4th Mr. Griffiths 1Ltr Whisky, 5th Mrs. S. Stark Telephone, 6th Mrs. E. Mathews Jewellery box, 7th Mrs. J. Machin floral decoration, 8th Mrs. E. Mathews 70cl Whisky, 9th Mrs. Jean. Adams 70cl Wine, 10th Mr. K. Turner a £10 gift voucher. Thank you to every one who took part.

Letter from Chris Betts - Fund raising event

   ‘St. Matthew’s Church, Haslington are celebrating 200 yrs of the present church building and to commemorate this occasion I have decided to swim 200 lengths of my local gym swimming pool (approx 2½ miles). Three years ago I had a quadruple heart bypass at the North Staffs Hospital, and to show my appreciation for the help given to me by the British Cardiac Patients Association and the church, all sponsor money will be divided between the 2 organisations. If you would like to sponsor me in my swim please contact Alan Lea, Area Co-ordinator or myself.

Coach Trip

   Our next day trip is scheduled for Wednesday 1st September going to Bury’s world famous open market at a cost of £9 per person, with the opportunity of going on the steam train to Ramsbottom .The coach will leave Joiners square Hanley at 9am and pick up at School Street, Newcastle at 9.15am. If you would like to join us contact Malcolm or Mary.

Christmas Lunch

   This year’s Christmas lunch will be held at the Borough Arms Hotel on Tuesday the 7th of December, 12 for 12.30pm. Please let us know as soon as you can if you would like to join us. The cost per person is £15.95 for a festive three-course meal, if you would like further information please contact Malcolm or Mary. Please book early to avoid disappointment. A non - refundable deposit of £10 will be required.

Just for fun

   A man went into a pet store and said to the owner, I'd like to buy a pet that is out of the ordinary - unusual. The pet shop owner replied, well, I have one Rairy-bird left... The man said, I've never even heard of a Rairy-bird, that certainly makes it unusual, I'll take it! So the man brought home his new Rairy-bird and soon found out that it had a huge appetite! It was always hungry!! Finally, the Rairy-bird was so big and fat that it wouldn't fit inside the house anymore, much less the cage! The man said to himself: I've got to get rid of this animal-I can't afford to feed it! So he rented a huge dump truck, put the Rairy-bird into the back, and drove to the edge of a high cliff. He then dumped the Rairy-bird out of the truck and over the cliff!! Thinking that all his troubles were over, the man was driving home when he suddenly heard this singing coming from the back of the dump- truck: "It's a long long way to tip-a-Rairy!!

Old Alphabet:

A is for apple, and B is for boat, that used to be right, but now it won’t float!
Age before beauty is what we once said, but let’s be a bit more realistic instead.

The New Alphabet:

A's for arthritis; B's the bad back,
C's the chest pains, perhaps car-di-ac?
D is for dental decay and decline,
E is for eyesight, can't read that top line!
F is for fissures and fluid retention;
G is for gas, which I'd rather not mention.
H high blood pressure--I'd rather it low;
I for incisions with scars you can show.
J is for joints, out of socket, won’t mend;
K is for knees that crack when they bend.
L is for libido, what happened to sex?
M is for memory, I forget what comes next.
N is neuralgia, in nerves way down low;
O is for osteo, bones that don't grow!
P for prescriptions, I have quite a few,
   just give me a pill and I'll be good as new!
Q is for queasy, is it fatal or flu?
R is for reflux, one meal turns to two.
S is for sleepless nights, counting my fears,
T is for Tinnitus; bells in my ears!
U is for urinary; troubles with flow;
V for vertigo, that's 'dizzy,' you know.
W for worry, now what's going 'round?
X is for X ray, and what might be found.
Y for another year I'm left here behind,
Z is for zest I still have -- in my mind!

I’ve survived all the symptoms, my body’s deployed,
and I’m keeping twenty-six doctors fully employed!

Best wishes
Alan Lea
Area Co-ordinator